We Happened

I read this article from a blogger/plurker Marcelle and had smiled all throughout.

What Happened To All The Nice Guys?

 

I am a girl who likes bad boys. I have come to accept this. I tried to date a guy who I thought was nice. But he bored the hell out of me. So I know that I like men who are not good for me. There was The Gay, The Bald and The Married. Yep, that sounds like a really bad B porn movie. But it's true. Been there, done them. So I thought, hey why not change the guy that I like into someone who is the anti-thesis of whom I wanted. I dated someone who was not lean, who was not from my university, who was a computer tech major, an only child, and was predisposed to being an emo. 

 Disastrous right? And he always wanted to see me, listen to me, talk to me and all that. He has been scarred by a previous ex who was an even bigger user than I would have even been. But I guess I turned out to be an even bigger bitch than she was. It's because he felt hopeful when we were dating, I spoiled him a bit in the beginning by promising that with me things would be different. 

It's true what they say about how idiotic women are when it comes to the men they choose. We say we love you but in our head we are already either making alterations that need to be done or giving you excuses to be stay the way you are. Even if we can't stand it, we say, "I love you just the way you are." or that you are the sum of your imperfections and strengths. But it's not true. If you are really who we want to be with, we would have not settled with you. 

Okay, so I sound too mean right now. 

I honestly stopped asking this question and I am just 26. No I am not cynical. An ex cured me of that. Now I know being a hopeless romantic is not such a bad thing. It's like what I said, we all have imperfections the same way we have our own delusions. Mine is the belief that love has a place in the world. Some are short stories, others are blog posts long but there are others that become bestselling novels of love and romance conquering real world dilemmas. 

Women who are nice tend to ask this question even more. To them I say, "What happened to nice guys? They dated a bitch like me and decided that they can't be a gentleman and get to fuck their brains out at the same time." Yes, I would say that out loud. My friends, unfortunately, can attest to that. We have had many coffee pow-wows where the men behind us listen attentively to four women teaching each other what to do to our men and their men in bed and in life. 

I have tons of nice guy friends. And they have either gotten married to a nice girl and infantcipating, dating a bad girl and I can't tell him to break up with her because he would never believe me that she's a member of my tribe, licking his wounds because a girl he likes finally dated another guy who is either just like him or looks like some kinda model he can't compare too *cue emo songs*, or single and happy about being such. 

I don't know about them but I know that I want to be with someone who would be as adventurous as me, in bed and in life. But he needs to be an amalgam, a sporty guy who is also a geeky guy. Or someone who likes sports but also books, art and indie film. Someone who can kick back and relax cuddled up then be up to go hiking when the weather allows it. Someone who can explain soccer to me, understands baseball but can help me code my blog template and how to get a domain. 

But my Geeky jock is far from falling for someone like me. And so I can settle for us to have a bromance of sorts. 

So to nice guys, be careful when you date a girl from the AB Communication Arts course in UPLB. We are a ton of crazy and a pound of nuts. But if you are courageous enough and you have a clean bill of health, you can try to apply for residency. *winks*

Lovelots,

Recovering Crazy Elbizen Party Girl 

 

Date a Girl Who

I read this entry a long time ago, in a woman's blog. 

It spread fast amongst my peers since we are all girls who love to read. We knew that we loved to find someone who can understand our obsessive love for smelling, reading and carrying around a book in our already huge bags.

Date a girl who reads. Date a girl who spends her money on books instead of clothes. She has problems with closet space because she has too many books. Date a girl who has a list of books she wants to read, who has had a library card since she was twelve.

Find a girl who reads. You’ll know that she does because she will always have an unread book in her bag.She’s the one lovingly looking over the shelves in the bookstore, the one who quietly cries out when she finds the book she wants. You see the weird chick sniffing the pages of an old book in a second hand book shop? That’s the reader. They can never resist smelling the pages, especially when they are yellow. (OMG I do this.)

She’s the girl reading while waiting in that coffee shop down the street. If you take a peek at her mug, the non-dairy creamer is floating on top because she’s kind of engrossed already. Lost in a world of the author’s making. Sit down. She might give you a glare, as most girls who read do not like to be interrupted. Ask her if she likes the book.

Buy her another cup of coffee. (Believe it or not, this is a romantic wish I have been having since like...forever. But yeah. I would go, “Take that chair, no one is using that.” or I will take out my mouth spray and pop the cap and spray someone who sits in front of me while I am reading.)

Let her know what you really think of Murakami. See if she got through the first chapter of Fellowship. Understand that if she says she understood James Joyce’s Ulysses she’s just saying that to sound intelligent. Ask her if she loves Alice or she would like to be Alice.

It’s easy to date a girl who reads. Give her books for her birthday, for Christmas and for anniversaries. Give her the gift of words, in poetry, in song. Give her Neruda, Pound, Sexton, Cummings. Let her know that you understand that words are love. Understand that she knows the difference between books and reality but by god, she’s going to try to make her life a little like her favorite book. It will never be your fault if she does. (True.True.True.)

She has to give it a shot somehow.

Lie to her. If she understands syntax, she will understand your need to lie. Behind words are other things: motivation, value, nuance, dialogue. It will not be the end of the world. (nope sorry, lying is my deal breaker. Or lying by omission)

Fail her. Because a girl who reads knows that failure always leads up to the climax. Because girls who understand that all things will come to end. That you can always write a sequel. That you can begin again and again and still be the hero. That life is meant to have a villain or two. (nope sorry, there are only a limited number of people who have this much patience. We do love and have a flair for the dramatic but girls who read are not idiots.)
Why be frightened of everything that you are not? Girls who read understand that people, like characters, develop. Except in the Twilightseries. (Oh so right about Twilight. Dear mother of God If a guy tells me he likes this book, I don't care if we are on a first date or engagement party. I will bolt...so fast...you'd see the tracks on the floor.)

If you find a girl who reads, keep her close. When you find her up at 2 AM clutching a book to her chest and weeping, make her a cup of tea and hold her. You may lose her for a couple of hours but she will always come back to you. She’ll talk as if the characters in the book are real, because for a while, they always are. (So true.)

You will propose on a hot air balloon. Or during a rock concert. Or very casually next time she’s sick. Over Skype.

You will smile so hard you will wonder why your heart hasn’t burst and bled out all over your chest yet. You will write the story of your lives, have kids with strange names and even stranger tastes. She will introduce your children to the Cat in the Hat and Aslan, maybe in the same day. You will walk the winters of your old age together and she will recite Keats under her breath while you shake the snow off your boots. (I want this...)

Date a girl who reads because you deserve it. You deserve a girl who can give you the most colorful life imaginable. If you can only give her monotony, and stale hours and half-baked proposals, then you’re better off alone. If you want the world and the worlds beyond it, date a girl who reads.

Or better yet, date a girl who writes. (True that!)

I don't think my last boyfriend would agree. Because the main reason why I had second thoughts about him was not because of the number of things that he was not or could not be. But it was because he was not able to understand my passion for writing and books. I didn't force him to read new things and his choice of things to read bordered on the blah and the why in God's green earth would you waste money on suplado tips books. No offense I love funny books. But I would never buy them. Then again. I am obsessed with writing and reading filipino romance novels. We all have our lithium-laced ice creams, filipino romance novels are mine.

My father reads them, in bed, to help him sleep. My mom reads them, she sells them in her boss' magazine store as well. She is the reason why I am a reader and the PHR novels she brought home made me want to be a writer.

I write for Tagalog Online Pocketbook. So many others like it have sprung out and many copycats have felt my wrath. And despite all that, I continue to write and read. This time around, I realized that editing is a bitch. It's so freaking hard that you would literally get a nosebleed and want to pull out all of your hair. To all editors, mabuhay kayo. We, the readers fail to thank you but here it is now, long overdue...thank you for making the books that we read...well...readable. To take a writer's rough draft and turn it into a gem is your doing. We are eternally grateful.

Anyway, I wanted to say...that men who read are hot. I love men with glasses. I am a POThead. (Harry Potter fan) and I love men with nerdy but cute looks. The other girls can have their hunks and celebrities. Leave me the cute nerdy bookworms and the indie film fans. ^.^

I had an ex who read the romance novels next to my bed once. I guess he was curious as to what I read. He also read my diary. That was weird. I guess he was too much of a reader.

But a shirtless guy reading a romance novels using my nightlight is hot. And not just because said boyfriend was already hot to begin with but because he was reading...something that only a handful of men I knew would read. 

I want one of those.  A bookworm who doesn't cheat. ^.^