BlackJack BlackSheeps : New Story Idea

"I am a Blackjack and I am a BlackSheep. I don't need you to love me. I just need you to stay alive long enough for me to love you." 

Blackjack Blacksheep in AFF
Status of story: Incomplete
Language : English
Genre : Action/Romance

 

Finding My TOP Melody : unfinished NaNoWrimo 2013 entry

I didn't get to finish this year yet again. T_T Poor me.
Why is it that there are so many things that happen in November that I never get to finish my Nanowrimo? *says the lazy person that lives in my head*

So now  I will be reverting all the names back to their celebrity version so I would not have to worry about the spelling. Oh. And now I can write with no pressure. And I can edit.

I think I have word constipation since when I have a deadline I just can't finish it. It's like my brain is rebelling against it. T_T Darn it.

Oh well, there is always next year. And I have so many story ideas I have yet to get into so I would not run out of things to write. ^.^

Congratulations to everyone who hit the 50k word mark. Banzai!~ I hope to join you someday.

To check out the story I was supposed to finished CLICK HERE. Warning, it's Yaoi.

My Pumpkin Gyo-Soh-nim (Yaoi)

TITLE : MY PUMPKIN PROFESSOR / MY PUMPKIN GYO-SOH-NIM
GENRE : FANFIC/YAOI
Disclaimer : May contain mature concepts not suitable for homophobes and kiddies.

READ THE STORY HERE 

This story was inspired by my crazy ELF friends who made me like EXO a bit as well. So now I am a baby ELF and a cub EXOTIC (cub since y'know WOLF etc, get it? If not you are so not a kpop fan).

Sungnine86 inspired me to write My Heart's Birthday because of her, duh, birthday and the one-shot I planned to write became my first SUJU universe fanfic. It was followed by several others and many of which are still not finished. Some already have ideas/concepts in them but I think I would have to add Henry, Han Geng and Zhou in the mix as well since they are also included. I didn't add them to the original mix but I plan to later on.

Anyway going back to this yaoi fanfic. The pairing is TaoMin. And I was always a fan of yaoi MANGA. But I wrote novels and fanfics of the hetero kind, because it's easier. So I though it would be cool and challenging to try to write yaoi. And so here is my first one. I didn't mind the format of official novels, word count and such and just let the story flow out of me. Sometimes there are just stories like that, right?

So this is not a model novel for you to read. But this is a fanfic so sometimes the formal stuff just gets chucked out of the window.

I am writing Jiyongie's Maknae as well. That is my second yaoi fic but I think this would not come out as fast as MPG did. MPG was a consuming fanfic. It wanted to be written whether I was at work or not. >.<

I had fun writing it thought. So I hope you will too.

 

Lou Love

She is a woman

A mother and a treasure

Surely you know of this to be true

For you have heard her laughter once

Felt her concern once

And learned of her big heart even just once

She feels deeply and know no need

To control love when it flows out of her

She is our sister, our mother and our friend

She knows that life must be seasoned to taste

Moments need to be sometimes sweet

Sometimes spicy but always  she makes sure

The lesson is dished out well and remembered

We are grateful for her for her loyalty and love

And pray that someday we’ll lick our lips over the food she made

Happy Birthday!~

 

NaNoWriMo 2012

I Pinaywriter, of sound mind and strong heart, declare that I would write 50,000 words in 30 days.

Add me as a writing buddy if you wanna ^.^

 

Michie:Michaela Celine Lagaya

You are are gift that reminds me

That love creates beauty in the world

And whenever there is a fear in me that

Love is a fleeting and superficial thing

All I have to remember is you

No matter how old you get

How tall you grow to become

You will always fit in the two entwined hands

Of each parent that bore you 

So when you are older 

Do not forget that the man you first loved

Was your father

And the you that should me is your mother

Because I can not think of two better people

Repeating history and finding love again 

Than those two

I hope you share my fate

That you find it hard looking for a man like him

And work your hardest to be as beautiful

Inside and out as your mother

And learn from their love

Because when the world doesn't make sense

And you feel like being an adult is a burden

You can always turn to them to remind you 

That you are a blessing

Love Quotes from V&A

Always there is hope for you
To walk through the door but
This wretched waiting tears at me
As each day, fades to more disappointment
Until there is no more of the person who once
stood at the precipice of need

+++

Love me not for what can be shared between us but for the spaces and shadows that separate us into two different beings joined by trust and new experiences. Hate me not for what we do not understand but the silence that embraces us and drowns our love.

+++

Crushes are refreshing balms to a heart that had been wounded to a point that love was something that cause bile to go up from the pit of one's stomach.

+++

Crushes are rainbows that are small bursts of color after being drenched in the tears of heartbreak.

+++

I can look at the most handsome man and see nothing but flaws because perfection already disappointed me.

+++

I don't need perfect love, I need love that work out for you and me.

+++

There you are, here I am. Why can't it be we;re here and we are getting there.

+++

Clothe me with your embrace
Shower me with your affection
Fed me with your love
Finish my sentences with your smile
And tell me that I will find you beside me
there every morning waking me up with your kisses.

 

To Have Everything

I missed blogging this on her birthday and their wedding anniversary. I hope they forgive me for the delay.
Belated Happy birthday and belated happy anniversary. And to top all that, congratulations!

To Have Everything 

To have everything is what every person craves

We are greedy creatures even when we deny that we are

I always thought that love was something to have

But the day I met you all wanting stopped

I knew that hunger was something I could forget

And that time is something that flies when I am simply staring

Dreaming stopped being enough 

To have you in my life is all of them coming true

I never thought that we could be an us.

Once there was just you and me,

Now that you have given, more than a man can wish for

I know what it is to be full

It's always been my wish to be able to rhyme

Perhaps that is why God made me a romantic

Still the words escape me and I chose to act

Then again there are poets for friends to rely on

To have you is like never being tired

Of shouting in the middle of a crowded street 

That I would love you for all of my lifetimes

To have you with me to the end of all time

There is no other treasure but YOU

There is no other life but OURS

There is no other wish but this 

That you feel that having me is enough.

 

Just of Kicks

There is something to be said about love

And there is a lot to be said about doing things just for KIXs

But it's always a great thing to count that one BLESsing that you know only you can share 

To the past that was full of laughter and youth

To the future that would spread to a lifetime of memories

Do things just for Kix and continue to be a BLESsing to each other. 

Congratulations on your special day!

 

Meme Proposal is Heart

 

Meme proposal is the new poetic way to propose? Points for him for the twist on the whole card thing.Watch it and you will realize just how bitter you are or if you still have a heart. I figured my tears were my heart saying, "You are not as hopeless as you think. But you are definitely a romantic." 

Can't see the video? Check out the pictures screencaps here

 

 

Dragon's Muse

Dragon's Muse

science fiction, romance

Years after Big Bang disbanded, Jiyong finds himself running Grand Dragon Talent (GDT) and writing songs for new talents. He has a major problem though, he hasn't been able to complete a single song in months! It was a good thing he had so many others and were able to use them for the new album that his friend Tempo was releasing.

One drunken night in his composer rut, he stumbles upon a beautiful girl who helps him get back to his apartment. All that he could remember was that she promised to help him get his passion back.

Now how could an amazon girl do that? Beat the notes out of him?

Characters :

Tala (fictional) – origins unknown

Kwon Jiyong – G-Dragon (29) talent manager/composer/singer/rapper

Choi Seung-hyeon – rapper/actor

Big Bang cameos

YG family cameos

Jin-young (inventor) – works at GDT

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Foreword

If you notice I put Filipino stuff in my fanfic. (if not, you clearly haven't read some of my first SuJu fanfics)

Tala means “star” in Filipino. It's a name given to a girl.

I wish that people would know more about me and my culture in small ways in my writing, you should do that same. ^.^

© Copyright; 2011, pinaywriter All Rights Reserved

No plagiarizing, printing, redistribution and saving allowed

Do not post anywhere else!

A Saint's Prayer

I look from heaven and I weep

I see so much suffering and grief

Water that brings life
Rain that must feed the land
Took lives that are yet to bloom

I stand my ground and hold my heart
Pray to the Lord that He help me
To shine hope into the lives
Of those who are left behind
And once again renew their faith

In my life I faced countless risks
So short it must have been
I often wondered how it would have been
If I lived beyond
My short-lived seventeen years

Could I have reached more disbelievers
Or would I have lost my way?
Did he ask me to come home
Because it was enough, what I had done?
Was my mission really complete?

I hear the rant of those who claim
That prayers and miracles are untrue
I look at their moral virtue
Their bible wielding and anger
I shake my head and want to scream

From the clouds from which my feet barely touches
I wanted to go back home and tell them
One by one, each in a dream or awake
To tell them a message I have always known
"Faith is faith, love is love, act upon it."

If you have time to judge the man
Whose robes are different from yours
Whose prayers sound unusual or alien
Then you have time to ask him
"What do you ask for in your prayers?"

They would be surprised to hear
That they too ask for peace
That they too ask for a better tomorrow
That they too ask for love
That they too ask for forgiveness

That they too thank Him
For the love He has given
For the lives that He saved
For the challenges that made them stronger
And for the faith that they found once more

Speak to me or whisper
And I will tell Him what you said
Ours would be a conversation between friends
Comrades of the same army
Both soldiers of His Faith

Surely He can hear you
As He heard me then
He knows of your sufferings
He knows He made you to endure so much
And that your reward is to be here with me

In the halls that never tarnish
In the carpet of clouds and light
Where none suffer or grief
I will welcome them when they come
Those ill-fated children

Pedro Calungsod

I hate it when people talk about religion and they bash on each other. There is a specific reason why I don't talk about religion with my friends. I am a Catholic by birth and I know the dogma and truths behind my own religion. But I would never bash someone for being a Baptist or being an Iglesia Ni Kristo follower. I would never demand that a person read the bible or tell them they are Pagans. 

Religion is just religion. Faith is faith. I know mine is in the right place. I don't have to take attendance to make it strong. I know that I am thankful for all the blessings that I have in my life. I know that God would never let me take on more than I can bear. 

If anything bad happens, I know that I would be strong enough to keep to the values my mother and father had taught me. But I know that I can ask for forgiveness and do something to make it up to them and my God. Because mine isn't a teacher who takes attendance but a constant mentor to love others and to be true to who I am.

Big Bang Fanfiction : Diaries of my Heart

Title : Diaries of My Heart

Status: Ongoing / Incomplete

Genre: Fanfiction / Romance

Central Bias: Seunghyun Choi (T.O.P. of Big Bang)

Characters :

Hannah - film student

Lala - music student

Big Bang members

YG family

Setting : South Korea

Description

We have all kept it, that journal where our heart is free to immortalize our fear and hate.
But what of a secret love that no one else can know?
Would you risk pressing it on paper with ink?
Join me in my secret love of Seung-hyun.

Foreword

This is going to be in the first person. I am not sure yet how this story would go. But I have been thinking of Seung-hyun for a while now and I think that is a sign that I should write about him again.

© Copyright; 2011, pinaywriter All Rights Reserved

No plagiarizing, printing, redistribution and saving allowed

Do not post anywhere else!


Excerpt 

Dear S,

This is the first time I would ever write about you. And I don't know if I should. No one else would ever read it and I won't ever be able to tell you how I feel. So what's the point of doing this, to remember just how crazy I can be about someone who is clearly just studying film because he is in the music industry and wants to make it as an actor.

Your dreadful acting skills are eclipsed by the fact that all the fangirls can see is T.O.P. of Big Bang. But what I see is shallow, pity-ass acting. And I hate it. Every time I see you I feel my wrath growing. How can a talentless rapper actor land movie roles and drama roles that could be best given to someone else? How can someone who can't even dance well be in one of the most popular groups in Korea?

And how can I, with my love for symmetry and substance like you, ney...love you like some common vapid fangirl?

A purging is in order. I have to get rid of you in my head and my life.

This is something I have to do. For my sanity. For my life. And for my craft.

Your former fan,

Hannah

++++

Please feel free to give me your comments and what not. Trolls not allowed.

Waiting's End

The lady looked beyond the banks

Where the water hits the rocks

Flowing salty tears go down

And joined the sea at once

Her sun-kissed hair flying

As her soul stared dying

Thinking that beyond this sea

Her beloved holds with no glee

The duty to save the country

And fears as she strokes her hair gently

"That he will not return to me

With the same love I used to see

In his dark beautiful eyes

A love that never dies."

Gradually he walks 

Stepping on the sand and tiny rocks

Decided to meet a deadly stop

To her endless sobs

Across the vast waters

A man lies on the ground, his mind yonder

He dies with this last breath

She drowns with this last thought, 

"Forgive me, my love

For I made you wait too long."

Original : 07/09/2001 9:22 a.m. 

This is one of my super old poems. They were written when I was in high school. When I was in college I made a Filipino version of this for a class. I would have to unearth it before I can post it. Lately, I have been wondering where all my old poetry writing self went. Maybe she is still around here somewhere. I'll find her. And maybe return the semblance of my old self once more, my realistic view of the world and the poetry that I lost in the past might just save me from going back to my old cynical self. 

T.O.P. Short Stories : My Lovely Christmas Grinch by Lizzie

 


My Lovely Christmas Grinch

TEASER:

Jaimee hates Christmas while Reed loves it, sino ba ang hindi? Magtatagpo pa rin kaya ang kanilang mga puso gayong magkaiba sila ng paniniwala?

Pinay's favorite line : I will tame the lovely Christmas Grinch, I promise!

LOL line : Ano bang ginagawa ko? Sheesh! I need to buy napkins!

We Happened

I read this article from a blogger/plurker Marcelle and had smiled all throughout.

What Happened To All The Nice Guys?

 

I am a girl who likes bad boys. I have come to accept this. I tried to date a guy who I thought was nice. But he bored the hell out of me. So I know that I like men who are not good for me. There was The Gay, The Bald and The Married. Yep, that sounds like a really bad B porn movie. But it's true. Been there, done them. So I thought, hey why not change the guy that I like into someone who is the anti-thesis of whom I wanted. I dated someone who was not lean, who was not from my university, who was a computer tech major, an only child, and was predisposed to being an emo. 

 Disastrous right? And he always wanted to see me, listen to me, talk to me and all that. He has been scarred by a previous ex who was an even bigger user than I would have even been. But I guess I turned out to be an even bigger bitch than she was. It's because he felt hopeful when we were dating, I spoiled him a bit in the beginning by promising that with me things would be different. 

It's true what they say about how idiotic women are when it comes to the men they choose. We say we love you but in our head we are already either making alterations that need to be done or giving you excuses to be stay the way you are. Even if we can't stand it, we say, "I love you just the way you are." or that you are the sum of your imperfections and strengths. But it's not true. If you are really who we want to be with, we would have not settled with you. 

Okay, so I sound too mean right now. 

I honestly stopped asking this question and I am just 26. No I am not cynical. An ex cured me of that. Now I know being a hopeless romantic is not such a bad thing. It's like what I said, we all have imperfections the same way we have our own delusions. Mine is the belief that love has a place in the world. Some are short stories, others are blog posts long but there are others that become bestselling novels of love and romance conquering real world dilemmas. 

Women who are nice tend to ask this question even more. To them I say, "What happened to nice guys? They dated a bitch like me and decided that they can't be a gentleman and get to fuck their brains out at the same time." Yes, I would say that out loud. My friends, unfortunately, can attest to that. We have had many coffee pow-wows where the men behind us listen attentively to four women teaching each other what to do to our men and their men in bed and in life. 

I have tons of nice guy friends. And they have either gotten married to a nice girl and infantcipating, dating a bad girl and I can't tell him to break up with her because he would never believe me that she's a member of my tribe, licking his wounds because a girl he likes finally dated another guy who is either just like him or looks like some kinda model he can't compare too *cue emo songs*, or single and happy about being such. 

I don't know about them but I know that I want to be with someone who would be as adventurous as me, in bed and in life. But he needs to be an amalgam, a sporty guy who is also a geeky guy. Or someone who likes sports but also books, art and indie film. Someone who can kick back and relax cuddled up then be up to go hiking when the weather allows it. Someone who can explain soccer to me, understands baseball but can help me code my blog template and how to get a domain. 

But my Geeky jock is far from falling for someone like me. And so I can settle for us to have a bromance of sorts. 

So to nice guys, be careful when you date a girl from the AB Communication Arts course in UPLB. We are a ton of crazy and a pound of nuts. But if you are courageous enough and you have a clean bill of health, you can try to apply for residency. *winks*

Lovelots,

Recovering Crazy Elbizen Party Girl 

 

Date a Girl Who

I read this entry a long time ago, in a woman's blog. 

It spread fast amongst my peers since we are all girls who love to read. We knew that we loved to find someone who can understand our obsessive love for smelling, reading and carrying around a book in our already huge bags.

Date a girl who reads. Date a girl who spends her money on books instead of clothes. She has problems with closet space because she has too many books. Date a girl who has a list of books she wants to read, who has had a library card since she was twelve.

Find a girl who reads. You’ll know that she does because she will always have an unread book in her bag.She’s the one lovingly looking over the shelves in the bookstore, the one who quietly cries out when she finds the book she wants. You see the weird chick sniffing the pages of an old book in a second hand book shop? That’s the reader. They can never resist smelling the pages, especially when they are yellow. (OMG I do this.)

She’s the girl reading while waiting in that coffee shop down the street. If you take a peek at her mug, the non-dairy creamer is floating on top because she’s kind of engrossed already. Lost in a world of the author’s making. Sit down. She might give you a glare, as most girls who read do not like to be interrupted. Ask her if she likes the book.

Buy her another cup of coffee. (Believe it or not, this is a romantic wish I have been having since like...forever. But yeah. I would go, “Take that chair, no one is using that.” or I will take out my mouth spray and pop the cap and spray someone who sits in front of me while I am reading.)

Let her know what you really think of Murakami. See if she got through the first chapter of Fellowship. Understand that if she says she understood James Joyce’s Ulysses she’s just saying that to sound intelligent. Ask her if she loves Alice or she would like to be Alice.

It’s easy to date a girl who reads. Give her books for her birthday, for Christmas and for anniversaries. Give her the gift of words, in poetry, in song. Give her Neruda, Pound, Sexton, Cummings. Let her know that you understand that words are love. Understand that she knows the difference between books and reality but by god, she’s going to try to make her life a little like her favorite book. It will never be your fault if she does. (True.True.True.)

She has to give it a shot somehow.

Lie to her. If she understands syntax, she will understand your need to lie. Behind words are other things: motivation, value, nuance, dialogue. It will not be the end of the world. (nope sorry, lying is my deal breaker. Or lying by omission)

Fail her. Because a girl who reads knows that failure always leads up to the climax. Because girls who understand that all things will come to end. That you can always write a sequel. That you can begin again and again and still be the hero. That life is meant to have a villain or two. (nope sorry, there are only a limited number of people who have this much patience. We do love and have a flair for the dramatic but girls who read are not idiots.)
Why be frightened of everything that you are not? Girls who read understand that people, like characters, develop. Except in the Twilightseries. (Oh so right about Twilight. Dear mother of God If a guy tells me he likes this book, I don't care if we are on a first date or engagement party. I will bolt...so fast...you'd see the tracks on the floor.)

If you find a girl who reads, keep her close. When you find her up at 2 AM clutching a book to her chest and weeping, make her a cup of tea and hold her. You may lose her for a couple of hours but she will always come back to you. She’ll talk as if the characters in the book are real, because for a while, they always are. (So true.)

You will propose on a hot air balloon. Or during a rock concert. Or very casually next time she’s sick. Over Skype.

You will smile so hard you will wonder why your heart hasn’t burst and bled out all over your chest yet. You will write the story of your lives, have kids with strange names and even stranger tastes. She will introduce your children to the Cat in the Hat and Aslan, maybe in the same day. You will walk the winters of your old age together and she will recite Keats under her breath while you shake the snow off your boots. (I want this...)

Date a girl who reads because you deserve it. You deserve a girl who can give you the most colorful life imaginable. If you can only give her monotony, and stale hours and half-baked proposals, then you’re better off alone. If you want the world and the worlds beyond it, date a girl who reads.

Or better yet, date a girl who writes. (True that!)

I don't think my last boyfriend would agree. Because the main reason why I had second thoughts about him was not because of the number of things that he was not or could not be. But it was because he was not able to understand my passion for writing and books. I didn't force him to read new things and his choice of things to read bordered on the blah and the why in God's green earth would you waste money on suplado tips books. No offense I love funny books. But I would never buy them. Then again. I am obsessed with writing and reading filipino romance novels. We all have our lithium-laced ice creams, filipino romance novels are mine.

My father reads them, in bed, to help him sleep. My mom reads them, she sells them in her boss' magazine store as well. She is the reason why I am a reader and the PHR novels she brought home made me want to be a writer.

I write for Tagalog Online Pocketbook. So many others like it have sprung out and many copycats have felt my wrath. And despite all that, I continue to write and read. This time around, I realized that editing is a bitch. It's so freaking hard that you would literally get a nosebleed and want to pull out all of your hair. To all editors, mabuhay kayo. We, the readers fail to thank you but here it is now, long overdue...thank you for making the books that we read...well...readable. To take a writer's rough draft and turn it into a gem is your doing. We are eternally grateful.

Anyway, I wanted to say...that men who read are hot. I love men with glasses. I am a POThead. (Harry Potter fan) and I love men with nerdy but cute looks. The other girls can have their hunks and celebrities. Leave me the cute nerdy bookworms and the indie film fans. ^.^

I had an ex who read the romance novels next to my bed once. I guess he was curious as to what I read. He also read my diary. That was weird. I guess he was too much of a reader.

But a shirtless guy reading a romance novels using my nightlight is hot. And not just because said boyfriend was already hot to begin with but because he was reading...something that only a handful of men I knew would read. 

I want one of those.  A bookworm who doesn't cheat. ^.^

Big B Series Book 1 : Yongbae's Song

BigB Series Book 1 : Yongbae's Song 

Jaime had one dream , to be a GY talent and a famous Korean idol. There was only one problem, she was neither a singer nor was she 100% Korean. Her only chance to stay in Korea was to be an English teacher to a bunch of misfits in a high school in a far-flung South Korean town.

Yongbae was living the dream, he was GY talent and a famous Korean idol. There was only one problem, he had mandatory military training and was assigned to go a remote town and help build a school. He meets the quirky Jaime while he stays there and finds that love can be found in the strangest places.

Teaser Line: “Not a chance in hell. I stole you from death once. You survived not to sing again. You survived so I could love you until the day I die.” 

+++

Author's note: I am planning to finish the five novels first before I submit it anywhere. I hope you offer me your help by telling me if me kulang or kung me gusto kayong ipaayos sa kwento. I will consider your comments and maybe improve on the novel in the future. Kahmsamnida!~

- PW

Note: You will have to register to read this novel. It's free to read. But there are novels there that require gils. Gils= site currency

Grateful Feet

You don't see a single pair of footsteps
Ahead of you or behind you
At the beach, on the muddy street
Or the fields that men have tilled

There is always someone in front of you
And those who are left behind
Trying their best to catch up
And fit their feet in your footprints

Sometimes those feet are bigger than yours
And you feel like yours can't fill the space
But there are others too that are the right fit
Feel like your feet belongs there

Ignoring the pain of walking that long
Is a tedious task at best
It's fine to whine, bend and stretch
As you as you do not forget to take another step

Towards the future, the end of that horizon
Where you will realize and will see
That there are most footprints in front of you
But look back and see that yours will be filled out too.

++++

My feet has been suffering lately and I realized that I don't feel bad when they do. Because they remind me that I went somewhere and had done something when I could just as easily said no and stayed curled up in my bed. I am not depressed or anything. I am just lazy at times.

Lack of Faithamins

I came across someone's blog today, he was a pastor that talked about God like being a Christian was cool. 
Then I encountered the question "Do you love me more than these?"

The memory of trying to be a good Christian and failing
The pierce of the question that I can't quickly say "Yes" to made me want to throw up.

The idea that I couldn't even finish a book that discounts the existence of a Higher Power reminded me
That I need more faithamins.

I am taking my brother's USANA Essentials
But I am not able to feed my faith, not for a very long time.

How do you know if you need more faithamins?
Let me count the ways.

Do you walk past a church and make the sign of the cross just because it's out of habit?
Do you pray before you sleep and utter a wish in the morning but not say the word God unless you are cursing?
Do you spend more time asking Him "Why?" than saying "What's next?" or "Thanks!"
Do you feel like something is off even if you are in a good place in your life, at least on paper?
Do you feel like you are surrounded by people who are sucking the life out of you, the happiness out of you till all that is left is the husk of your old self?

If you are, we should go get some more faithamins. 
I believe things would get healthier from there.

No amount of gym work-outs would make you feel leaner
No amount of yoga would make you less meaner

Than knowing that your heart is free of hate and malice.
And that it's ready to forgive you *yes you* who might have take the shortcut that lead to a dreary road full of dark corners, myths and delusion.

Take a faithamin pill, swallow it whole.
It tastes a bit bitter in the beginning, but soon it would be sweeter.

I am a non-practicing Catholic. People think that I am faithless at times. I do things out of habit. But I have long decided that being a believer is much like me being straight. I might think that I want to go to the other side, but this is who I really am. I can't do anything about that besides embracing it and making the experience worth my while.